Katy Perry I see your Dark Horse Devil and raise you a unicorn…or an army of them.
Cause that’s what we’re doing at Kazer Wellness!
Where MORE THAN MAGIC happens.
For your heart, health and happiness!
Yesterday, I was tagged by like 15,000 of my friends who know I’m obsessed with (ahem, I am) a unicorn. 😉 Turns out they WERE real (duh we all knew that, they’re talked about all over the Bible like Centerfold ponies). Read on for the history…You know my story why I love them. Here’s the Cliff notes formula:
Unicorns = Magic
I am Unicorn
I am Magic
It helps me believe in myself more. That I am powerful. I can do anything. I am magical…and have the passion to fight for what’s right for my people. The happiest time where I believed in me, was happy, resilient and wasn’t so hard on myself was when I was 5, and my ‘best friends’ were My Little Ponies. Therefore this icon, rekindles me to the spirit of my youth. And the genuine love in my heart! Maybe that’s why other women are obsessed with them too? There are few of us left, but if you’ve been paying attention, the Unicorn Revolution is happening.
In fact, I did a study with other unicorns. Based on randomised, double-blind, placebo-controlled study consisting of unicorns across the globe, these were the findings:
Interpretation:
Stop discouraging us from the following:
*referring to ourselves as unicorns
*photoshopping unicorn horns on our third eye
*dressing up like unicorns
*sharing obnoxious, slightly offensive unicorn memes
*sleeping with unicorns
*wearing unicorn icons on yoga pants you get to see us look hot in anyway
*drawing unicorns on random things
*avoiding anything that includes but is not limited to UNICORNS.
THE MAGIC OF MODERN UNICORNS
Ok so the above meme may sound obnoxious. It just so happens that this same day, one of the most OBNOXIOUS cover ups is underway in the health care world. And THIS is where the magic horn comes in handy. This fits the formula. This ISN’T magic, it’s lies…so I want to stab it with my head. And here it is:
VACCINATIONS ARE NOT MAGIC, they’re toxic. And now they’re being forced upon us. And covered up. #notmagic
The more I research, the more I uncover trails of data pointing to the fact that heavy metal toxicity is a MAJOR threat to our existence. And procreation. In the next couple decades, the odds are projected that 1 in 2 baby boys born will have autism. If you suck at math, that’s 50% or HALF. You may have heard me echo Paul Chek‘s statement “We’re only a few generations away from extinction”.
So, an awareness is emerging.
This is how we change our fate.
We listen. We observe. We OPEN our minds.
What are the other options? Our health care system is FAILING. Cancer is growing. Auto immune disease is on the rise.
Even though we’re spending more $ than EVER on medical.
- It will challenge our value system and hey! you might even hate or unfollow me for sharing this
- We cling so tightly to what we’re lead to believe…that the moment someone shows us the other side, our very existence is shaken
- identities are lost, hoping lives won’t be.
The jest: Mainstream media just committed credibility suicide… everybody knows they’re covering up the truth about vaccines.
The FDA doesn’t want us to…but unicorns do!
We deserve to know.
THIS FILM will do just that.
THIS PETITION will allow it’s release, which the CDC, FDA and big pharma have ceased because pharmaceutical companies are afraid that if people start to question vaccines (and rightfully so) they will lose BILLIONS in profits. Well, they’ve already made BILLIONS off of us, injuring and killing our children for their “greater good” and it’s time for it to end.
Anyway, in my perception….this is the type of shit unicorns do.
They fight for what’s right and spread the truth.
They make magic and miracles happen!
BACK TO UNICORNS
We’re reawakening.
Like a genie, our magic forces are being unleashed.
We’re the light casting truth on the dark.
And we won’t stop at anything.
A force to be reckoned with.
For me it started 33 years ago when I got my first My Little Pony.
But it REALLY started 2.5 million years ago.
An excerpt from THIS ARTICLE IN MNN dated Monday, March 28, 2016.
“The discovery of a fossilized skull in Kazakhstan is making paleontologists rewrite the timeline of the Siberian unicorn, Elasmotherium sibiricum. This impressive animal was a real-life unicorn, though it didn’t match the image most of us have for the fairytale creature.
Closer to a rhino than a horse in appearance, it was similar in stature to the mammoth. Measuring up to 6.5 feet tall and almost 15 feet long, it weighed up to 9,000 pounds. Its most recognizable feature was its single horn, which is thought to have been much longer than a rhino’s, up to multiple feet long. Its habitat was the vast territory from the Don River in Russia to east of modern Kazakhstan.
The Siberian unicorn, which first emerged in the fossil record around 2.5 million years ago, was thought to have disappeared 350,000 years ago. But the discovery made by researchers from Tomsk State University in Siberia, Russia, seems to show that E. sibiricum might have stuck around much longer. In fact, the beast and humans might have met, since our ancestors began spreading across Asia more than 50,000 years ago and likely went to Siberia around 35,000 years ago.
The well-preserved skull found in the Pavlodar Priirtysh region of northeast Kazakhstan was dated using the radiocarbon Accelerator Mass Spectrometry method and found to be about 29,000 years old.”
So let’s see…that makes me approximately 30,037 years old.
Damn I look good for my age.
With my unicorn hoof, I dug up some varied colors of humor, history and horny innuendos when the story went viral among unicorns everywhere.
1
Did you know that “unicorn” is mentioned 7 times in the King James Version of the Bible, but i remember growing up learning that they are not real. This is pretty cool.
2
I knew it! Except the artist has the hair all wrong…it should be pink. But white would make more sense, so it could blend in with the snow. I sure do miss my Scholastic unicorn poster from the late 80s. I wonder if our ancestors every tried to ride one. I bet somebody somewhere tamed one and and fed it heirloom vegetables. And braided it’s tail and hung a garland of fresh flowers around it’s neck. I hope no one ever killed and ate a unicorn though. Maybe this species was bred with wild mustangs to create prettier unicorns. Horses and donkeys make mules together, so it might have been possible.
3
Around 30,000 years ago, the first humans to set foot in the vast Siberian plains encountered a magnificent and already ancient beast. A huge woolly rhino, that probably managed to disembowel generations of brave hunters before it was lead to extinction.
Whatever language those people spoke to one another when they sat by the fire, the tales of the gigantic animal with the single horn on top of its head were certainly popular conversation topics. Many thousands of years later, the remnants of those stories had migrated across continents, getting mixed with local myths. The ugly beast was beautified and bestowed with magical powers, often placed in the company of virgins and lots of flowers. Which does have a bit of a Freudian ring to it, if you know what I mean.
So, this is what your cute little unicorn really looked like. Long before it got white-washed, in more or less the same way a Middle Eastern carpenter’s son turned into a blue-eyed West Coast surfer.
4
Well, humans most likely killed off the “unicorn,” much as they’re trying to do to current rhinos. Ignorant of the natural wealth of this planet, humans are also cancerous to it.
5
I wasn’t going to comment on this fossil find, but people keep saying how disappointed they are that our real life unicorn probably looked like a furry rhino instead of a dancing piece of glitter. I just wanted to say to the unicorn, even though it’s long gone now– I think you’re beautiful. Fur and all.
6
You can go ahead and skip Jurassic Park…. If we are going 
to clone some critters from our history. I know the one I want….. Now, get me some Chameleon DNA to splice in and we can get some serious rainbow Unicorns happening.
Bear Cavalry? Pass! I will take my fantastic shaggy Unicorns into battle any day of the week!
7
Unicorn fossil discovered! Lived on the Earth 29,000 years ago. I imagine the Unicorn’s horn was sought after for medicinal (magical) reasons and perhaps caused their extinction. That and it looks like this creature would have fed a clan… I wish we could go back 29,000 years and save the last unicorn couple.
8
I’ve always known there WAS an animal that was called a unicorn. It’s mentioned in the King James Bible, Job 39 is one such verse:
“Will the unicorn be willing to serve thee, or abide by thy crib? Canst thou bind the unicorn with his band in the furrow? or will he harrow the valleys after thee?”
9
Interesting if true. But there have been plenty of fossil hoaxes before, and let’s face it, if all they’ve ever found was a skull, it’s pretty hard to make an accurate description of the animal. If true, the translation of the King James’ “Unicorn” becomes far more accurate.
10
Part of my unicornian ancestry presented to you right here, right now. Thanks to early inter-species love affairs between prehistoric rhinos and horses we are the beautiful specimen that you have come to know and admire. Gotta love that evolution thing.
So there we have it.
The truth delivered right to your eyes.
Glitter, rainbows, unicorns, magic. You may think we’re crazy. But we ARE real.
I will end with a wish, a dream cast, an intention.
Now that it’s confirmed we’re REAL, and I know I’m real…I wish to make out on a unicorn with a REAL warrior man. Yep, I wanna fall in mad love. Maybe even make babycorns too? I dunno yet.
But at the very least, ride off in the sunset on our UNICORN.
